A lot of you may agree with me, and I’m sure a lot of you disagree. I am one of those people who much prefers to relax and kick back on a holiday or just a regular weekend as opposed to partying, drinking a lot, and gettin’ wild.
In fact, I prefer to relax and chill with close friends MOST of the time over going out and drinking. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be with people, because I still always like to be surrounded by people; but more about how I like to spend my time.
I have spent a lot of time reflecting to figure out WHY I feel that way, because even though I know it’s not totally strange — I also know it’s not the norm. I am only 25 years old, so why don’t I have more of a desire to go out, let loose, put on my red, white & blue Mardi Gras beads and take shots of vodka chased with lime like I did so often in college?!
I have been thinking about it a lot this week in particular after having an AMAZINGGGGGG staycation at the SLS Beverly Hills with my cousin Brianna on the 4th of July.
In the morning we had treatments at the Ciel Spa — I had a deep tissue massage and Brianna had a facial, we relaxed in their lounge (SO BEYOND CUTE, I DIE) & their steam room, and basically blissed out big time. (For the record, my massage was incredible. The massage therapist was so strong — my fave.)
After that, we laid out at the Altitude Pool on the roof of the hotel. Neither of us are big drinkers, so we sipped on Arnold Palmers all afternoon (#YES), ate the yummiest guac and chips that were made right at our lounge chair, had delish salads, and cooled off in the pool while we listened to the CHILLEST DJ ever. He was playing smooth jazz. I was all about it.
If anyone is thinking about having a staycation (or a vacation) in LA, I’d highly recommend the SLS. It’s right in the center of Beverly Hills, and their decor and vibe is beyond relaxing and well done.
I for one will be back again & again. They also have incredible restaurants in the hotel — if you go, check out The Bazaar for the meal experience of a lifetime!
And since I had the most chilled out 4th of July while many of my friends and people I know were raging on the beach somewhere, I think it’s time to discuss WHY I like to relax, especially on days when people are known to party and celebrate.
I also want to note that I love living the laid back life, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with it! It can still be a lot of fun. 😉
The only difficult part has been to find other people who like to spend their time the way I do, so that I’m not straight up alone on holidays/weekends versus being out at a bar or a club. I will leave some tips below for that, too!
8 Reasons Why I’d Rather Relax than Party:
- Quality Time: I am big on spending quality time with the people I care about. It’s my love language (have you guys read this book? If not, you need to). I would so much rather spend my weeknights and weekends catching up with friends and hearing how they’re doing and what they’re up to. If that involves a late dinner and a bottle of wine, that’s awesome. I’m happy. But if it involves a super crowded bar with people spilling drinks around us left and right… I’m not quite as happy. I can do it once in a while, but the quality of how I spend my time really fills me up and makes me happy. Our time is precious, and I know what I do and do not like to do in order to enjoy mine the most.
- Health conscious: It’s true, this is a factor. I put so much effort into my workouts, eating well, staying hydrated, taking herbs and probiotics, meditating, and sleeping well because I love the way I feel when I do. I absolutely thrive off of my body feeling good — and I know what it feels like to NOT feel good in your own body, that’s for sure. So while I’m cool with having a few drinks a week in a social setting, I am not the type to blow the whole week of exercise and eating well for a few really late nights out with lots of alcohol, late night food, and not enough rest. It just really doesn’t work for me. My system is too sensitive for that! It takes me days and days to recover, and my hangovers these days are NOOOOO bueno. (Not sure when I became the lightest lightweight ever, but it has officially happened.)
- Full work life: I feel very, very, very FULL in my work life. I sometimes think a product of not being happy in your day to day job life results in wanting to go out and have an escape from that. I don’t ever really have that desire. And I’m not saying this in a “I love my job, so that makes me better than people who don’t” kind of way. Not at all. I just mean that I worked really hard to find a career that would make me feel whole, satisfied, and incredibly happy. So at the end of the work day, I can’t relate to needing a drink or needing to go out to blow off the stress. I can relate to wanting to spend time with people after work, go on a run, chill on the couch and watch TV, etc. But I really don’t seek that type of escape to “forget” about my work life. I take breaks from work, and I love a good vacation (OR STAYCATION!) with a digital detox, but something tells me that is different from partying, haha.
- Inconvenience/Sensitivity: This one is big. I am a highly sensitive person, something I am learning a LOT about in therapy (check out this book if you haven’t read it). Part of being highly sensitive means that it’s really hard for us to be in a situation where we can’t control many of the factors. When you’re highly sensitive, you are extremely clear about when you’re done being somewhere. And if you’re unable to leave when you know you’re ready to, extreme anxiety and stress ensues. Sometimes going out with a really large group and I’m ready to go before other people or (God forbid) when I go out and have no access to an Uber or a car to leave, I will lose my sh*t. If I have independence going into the night and know that the people I’m with will be fine if I leave (or will leave with me), then it’s better. But it can feel incredibly inconvenient to cater to someone else’s schedule if they want to stay out longer, go to more bars, go to a more crowded part of the bar, etc. I find that I am much happier when I have control over what I do and when I do it. It might sound slightly difficult, but if you think about it, it’s really not. I’m just doing what I need to do in order to be happy and pleasant to be around — isn’t that what we should all learn about ourselves?!
- SLEEP: You guys, sleep is highly underrated. A bad night of sleep can throw me off for DAYS, and sometimes even for more than a week. I like to go to bed on the early side and wake up on the early side. When my schedule starts tipping to me staying up late and waking up later, it really doesn’t work for me. I like to exercise early, have my coffee, get my work done, and start to wind down and relax by 6pm or so. Going out and drinking too much realllllly inhibits my sleep, especially because I don’t sleep well after I have a few drinks in me!
- GOALS + Intentions: This might be the absolute main reason, right here. The big difference between me in college and me now is that I have a really clear vision for what I want in my life. (Have you seen my July goals post yet, from yesterday?!) I want to be a best-selling author, time and time again. I want this blog to be one of the top read blogs in the world. I want to be as physically fit as I can possibly be, so that I can feel beyond awesome. I also want to continue cultivating the relationships that matter most in my life, and ultimately I want to have a family and I want my kids to have the BEST LIFE imaginable. I also enjoy being a person with a routine, and a home, and a cat, and a life that I am proud of. I spent far too many years without a routine, and without feeling like I could even call L.A. home. Now that I can, it’s not often very tempting to mess with the routine that I love… but don’t worry, I know getting out of the box sometimes is good, so I am always challenging myself too!
- Confidence: Here’s the thing. I used to be really worried what people would think about me if I didn’t go out with them all the time and adapt to their schedule. I wasn’t worried that people would think that I was weird, but I was worried that they would think I wasn’t a good friend. That I wasn’t trying hard enough. That was my biggest fear, because I never want my friends to feel like I don’t care or that I don’t want to be with them. So over time, I’ve been able to find ALLLL sorts of ways to spend plenty of time with them, and also have them understand and respect that I just don’t like going out as much as some of them do. Everyone has their own goals, desires, ways they like to have fun. I understand that hikes and weekend yoga classes aren’t everyone’s idea of fun. And they understand that bars and clubs aren’t everyone’s idea of fun either. Be confident in the choices you make, and they’ll become easier and easier to stick to.
- Been there, done that! If I had never had my partying ways, I’m sure I would be all about it right now. I got it all out of my system. First in high school, and then in college. And even quite a bit after college. I was pretty wild back then, believe it or not. I had a lot of fun, made a lot of stupid (and hilarious) decisions, and don’t really have a desire to do anything like that ever again. For fun, here’s a photo of me from when I used to go out in Hollywood 3+ nights a week, just so you believe it actually happened. 😉
So boom! There you go. That’s a pretty decent-sized list of reasons why I don’t like to go out as much these days. Especially on holidays, because I feel that people amp them up too much so it’s ALWAYS a shit show and people don’t usually have as much fun as they think they will.
Also, a HUGGGGEEEE thanks to the SLS for hosting Brianna and I on the fourth! I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my holiday. Staycations are for sure my new favorite thing. 🙂
One last college photo for fun… Hehe! Find the TBB…
Who’s with me? Am I the only 25 year old grandma? Do tell! X