Hi guys! Happy Saturday! I hope everyone had a fun and safe holiday week and that you squeezed every ounce outta life to the best of your ability… I add that last part in because for me, squeezing the joy out of life right now looks very different than it usually does. But we will get into that. 🙂
Anyway to set the scene for y’all, I am currently blogging from a luscious king bed in a fluffy robe wrapped in the most silky puffy hotel sheets ever at the Four Seasons Westlake Village. A lil staycation if you will. I came to stay here with my mama last night because she was in town shopping for furniture because… SHE & MY DAD ARE MOVIN’ HERE!!
Well, they are keeping their Sactown place but they are renting a place in Brentwood to be here to help me with my treatments… and to live life, because we all know they live their best life and they’ve belonged in LA for a while.
And are you ready for the kicker? They’re renting a place in the SAAAAME BUILDING that Jonathan & I are moving into!! And yes, that means J & I are moving in together… in one week! The reign of Hudson and I living alone is coming to an end. Three years of pure magic living alone in my little one bedroom 201 sanctuary in Brentwood, where I grew and evolved and created so much and learned so dang many things about myself.
When I first moved into my current home I used to squeal every time I walked in the door. Probably for a good six months. I was SO happy to be in my own space after years & years of living with roommates, sharing bedrooms (college), and before that of course living with my family. Every living situation had its place and purpose in my life, but the last three years with just me and Hud have been particularly golden.
But after getting extremely ill slowly but surely over the last three years, traveling to Bali solo in the spring & embarking on the water fast, several months ago I started to really feel like I was outgrowing my space. I actually sobbed when I returned from all my travels because my space didn’t feel like it fit me anymore with how much I have evolved this year (in the good ways and the hard, not so good ways). I walked in the door after being gone for two months and saw boxes on top of boxes of product and soooo much clutter and lights that don’t turn on right and nonexistent curtains (thanks Hud) and our small-ass kitchen & teeny bathroom with the stained bathtub (Goop charcoal bath salts really effed me) and the way Hud has ripped our furniture to shreds and just thought, “I AM DONE. THIS IS NOT ME ANYMORE.”
Melodramatic I know but I really truly had a massive breakdown about it (space is CRUCIAL and when you see all that clutter it can make your mind feel cluttered as ever) and then our PERFECT HOME fell into our lap a few days later… the same day as my Lyme diagnosis… so things really do happen for a reason, all in their most perfect divine timing.
Not to mention, falling madly in love with my babe and being unable to imagine not coming home to him (or him coming home to me… I work from home yo) every night for eternity kind of helped me put the 201 home to rest as well. 🙂 So it’s TIME, and we move next SATURDAY!
So all of my yoga videos, kitchen pics, podcast BTS videos, all of it… will have a new location very, very soon. And I am so ready for it. My glorious 201 home has served me so well, and now it’s time to move forward to the next. (Now it’s a 206. I had very, very mixed feelings about that at first but now I am very excited because I think it’s me & J’s new number together. 201 will show up all over the place there I am sure of it.)
Oh & our new kitchen is BEAUTIFUL and open and so bright (white marble my dream) and I just know it’s going to inspire me to create all of the yummy intuitively plant-based recipes and perhaps even be the home for a new SOS-free autoimmune friendly cookbook… shhhh, you heard it here first!! *insert dancing emoji x 293829832*
And my parents will be right upstairs!! Not DIRECTLY above but a few over and I am just elated. When you’re sick with chronic illness and you spend about 85% of time tied to your bed because you don’t have energy to even move to the couch… knowing your parents are right upstairs is the most comforting feeling in the entire universe. And we all know Byron is going to be my full-time photographer, box opener, and business manager so thank the LORD I will finally have some [more, hehe] help around here!
Oh & lastly about the new place… I got an in-home infrared sauna for us (LUXURY AT IT’S FINEST, I KNOW, but also my greatest healing tool I have found for Lyme, mold, parasites, MCAS, and MTFHR so far) and you can get your own here if you’re interested (tell them I sent you)… soooo much more to come on this.
What else is new?!
Beyond the move, which I am so thrilled about (can you tell?), most of my time is spent either in bed resting or carting myself around to my various healing treatments. Soon I will do a whole post on my treatments, but for now think ozone therapy (IV, nasal, and rectal… #realness), infrared sauna, acupuncture, cupping, cryotherapy, massage, foam rolling, hyperbaric chamber, and Ayurvedic Panchakarma to name a few.
And if you see that whole list and think that I am out of my mind for doing so much, just consider that my life without any one of those things on any given week (minus the Panchakarma, that’s a special occasion treat!) is pretty much unlivable. I am so grateful and yes PRIVILEGED that my sickness came at a time where I am a position to afford the treatments I am getting. It’s not like it’s easy or that I am particularly thrilled to see my bank account taking more hits by the week because of my Lyme treatments and meds and everything else… but I am damn grateful that I even have the option to do these things and get my hands on my meds.
I worked tirelessly and constantly and truly non-stop for five years straight, and THEN I got debilitatingly ill. My heart hurts 24/7 for the people out there who are sick and have no savings account to turn to to begin to heal and get well. I do this for them. And if that’s you reading, I do this for YOU. I share my experience to enlighten the public about how debilitating the chronic illness life really is. So that one day (soon, we will make this happen soon) there will be an affordable cure for all, insurance will cover the treatments we NEED in order to be well, and necessary forms of self-care will not be something reserved for the few who can afford it.
I have sadly had to cancel everything I was planning to do this summer… minus one little trip with J where we will be going and turning off our phones and I likely will barely get out of bed but that’s fine because that’s what vacation is for… but yes it hurts and it’s sad and I am missing out on a lot of important mileston’s in my friend’s lives and it crushes me. But I know I have to put my health first or else I will just keep declining, and that’s what my life looks like right now.
Just a little peak into my fourth of July: I spent it in Laguna celebrating the holiday & also J’s best friend’s birthday who I love very much… and I can’t even begin to tell you how debilitatingly ill I felt/was/became that day. I felt like my brain legitimately didn’t work. I had several panic attacks. I developed the most crippling splitting migraine, and then developed a full-body breakdown of pain worse than anything I have felt maybe ever. The fireworks hurt everything from my eyes and ears down to my bones. I drove home later that night (I was supposed to spend the night but you know how it goes) and every single joint, muscle, and bone felt like it was on FIRE. I stayed up all night with raging insomnia and sobbed myself to sleep. Jonathan was with me and he is a saint from heaven, but when I feel this way I am inconsolable. It’s rough.
I share all of this because if you also feel this way, you’re not alone. Or if you can’t imagine feeling this way (and I hope you can’t!!!) then to give you more insight into what my life is like right now and why I have to make choices the way that I do… AKA stay in bed most of the time and cancel most of my plans and/or not even make them.
Other new things… I made a new playlist for July, which you can find here! It’s called RAP & SAVASANA… WHAT?! because my intuition guided me to mix Drake, Eminem (some of his dirtiest stuff… #notsorry!!), and Macklemore with Trevor Hall, Jason Mraz, and John Mayer to name a few. Probably because they’re my two fave types of music so I felt like blending them all into one playlist.
When I make playlists I try to include live versions of songs and fun remixes as much as possible because a lot of us have heard the originals and it’s fun to step outside of the box with music. Music is actually one of my greatest healers. In terms of completely FREE things we have access to that can heal us from the inside out, music is one of those things. Music sets my soul on fire and makes me so happy.
Other newness vibes… YESTERDAY WAS HUDDY’S THIRD BDAY!!! We celebrated him with lots of treats and new toys and snuggles. My little man changed my life exactly three years ago and made me a mama and I truly don’t know what I would do in this Lyme season of my life without his unconditional love and sweetness.
We have our high vibe chronic illness tribe on FB that is an amazing resource & community full of inspiring humans who are dealing with being sick. Feel free to join whether you have an illness or whether you just love/know someone who does or are interested in learning more what living with one might be like. I have learned so much from these humans already and the fab questions and feedback they’re providing in our group.
And as always we have our soul on fire podcast tribe on FB that is my other favorite place to be. High vibes & likeminded humans all around the globe. If you’re looking for community and friendship with people who GET IT… I mean like, REALLY GET IT, then join and hang with us. <3
Today I am off to have lunch with my BFF Brandin (remember him from our kinda viral BFF video?!?! One of my all-time faves) and his mama who is also suffering from Lyme, mold, parasites, and basically everything that I am. I love her. And then getting a consult at Surya Spa for my upcoming Panchakarma on Monday. Tomorrow doin’ some infrared and hitting up the farmer’s market. 🙂
What is everyone else up to this weekend?! Tell me how you’re doing and where you live and all that jazz, I love connecting with you guys more than life. <3 Xoxoxo