Hey, sweet thangs. 🙂
So, I caught my eyes in the mirror during a super sweaty, super cardio-heavy, do-jumping-jacks-until-you-hit-the-ground-intense Yoga Sculpt class the other morning.
A few thoughts were going through my head as I locked eyes with myself & the sweat trickled down my tomato-red cheeks… in this order, naturally:
1) I feel like a BADASS.
2) I need to do this every damn day. Like every single day no matter what. I freaking love using weights in yoga.
3) Except I should probably intersperse it with running… and HIIT… and regular yoga… so maybe I’ll do sculpt every other day. Or more, whatever. I can double up. I love doubling up. But will I have time for everything else I need to be doing every day? Uh… prob not.
4) Am I as in shape as I was a few months ago before I took so much down time for my Panchakarma? There’s no way I’m as in shape as I was when I was training for the marathon. Or when I was doing OrangeTheory 5-6 days a week. There’s no way.
5) Do I *need* to be as in shape as I was when I was doing either of those things? Was that *too* much cardio for me? Should I drop the running thing and just dive fully into the every day yoga thing? Would that be better for my body and joints in the long run?
6) Stop obsessing, Jordan. Stop obsessing.
7) What if I start TEACHING sculpt classes?! Then I’d really have to take sculpt all the time to make sure I was on my A game. Yeah, that’s totally what I should do.
8) Must. Get. To. Yoga. Every. Day. No. Matter. How. Busy. I. Am. With. Work. And. Blogging. And. Life.
9) What does being “FIT” mean anyway? I look like I’m in better shape than I was when I was pounding out 30+ miles a week… don’t I? Or is it just these pants?
10) I pray to god I’m still fit enough to run the half marathon I’m signed up for in two weeks. I wonder if these sculpt classes will help with my endurance…
11) Do I look fit to the other people in this room? Did I even KNOW how fit I was before I took all that time off to rest and recharge? I didn’t even *appreciate* it.
12) Why are these jumping jacks so hard for me?! Why did I drink all that coffee this morning?! Heartburn, heartburn, ow. Why is my heart beating so fast? I am a distance runner, or at least I was… WHY is this cardio so HARD?
You get the picture.
On and on. 🙂
So, YEAH. These were just a few of the thoughts going through my head as I powered through the sweaty, weighted, and also somehow crazy enjoyable and cathartic class that I was in on Friday.
Pre-yoga selfie before the very class I’m talkin’ bout. 😉
Do I take being fit for granted?
The main thing that got me thinking was actually #11 on the list above… “did I even appreciate how fit I was when I was busting out 16 mile runs and calling them very doable, *short* distances, and going on with my day as normal afterward?”
The answer is… no, I didn’t really appreciate it. I didn’t quite give myself enough credit or actually stop to marvel at how hard I was working and how far I had come from hardly running at all ever.
Because even when I was doing all the cardio in the world, hopping from OTF classes to road running to the occasional yoga class all in one day just to stay a litttttle open in my legs and hips… I still believed I was just “sort of” in good shape.
Why? Because all of that exercise wasn’t effortless for me, the way I thought it should be or would be if I was totally, completely, and seriously in “REALLY GOOD SHAPE.”
Why did I think that and basically give myself zero credit for busting my ass to workout hard every day? I have no idea.
Instead, I actually focused a lot on what I thought I SHOULD be doing. I thought I should be training harder, running faster, running more often. I thought I “barely skated by” with training for the marathon, even though I poured my heart and soul into that training process for 7 whole months.
Exercise is never going to feel effortless the way I envisioned it should for people in the best shape of their lives. I mean, it shouldn’t be at least if we are actually pushing ourselves and getting stronger and going faster, and growing and evolving.
And I also talked a bit in my post the other day about how we should always appreciate our physical ability to exercise, because it’s a legit privilege that we so often take for granted.
So yes, even though my fitness level isn’t the same as it was before I took time off for my Pancharkma (also equally as necessary and important in my wellness journey)… I am still in good shape & should be appreciating that and giving myself credit.
I work hard to be as healthy and fit as I can possibly be. I swear I don’t give myself nearly enough credit… and for being such a self-aware person about all things fitness + wellness, if I’m not giving myself enough props — are ANY of us?
I mean, I really hope some of us are. We freaking deserve it.
My Biggest Challenge With Being Super Into Fitness:
My biggest challenge is that I’m always going to want more. My accomplishments are never going to seem like “enough.”
Finished the marathon, felt awesome, couldn’t wait to do it again and “train harder” and run faster.
Nailed my handstand in yoga, was stoked, couldn’t wait to hold it longer and learn how to press into it more gracefully and impressively.
Flowed through a kick ass yoga sculpt class (the one I mentioned above), felt incredible, and couldn’t wait to “do this way more often” so that I could be ripped and lift heavier weights and feel stronger.
Bumped up my “base pace” at OrangeTheory, was super happy, and really all I could focus on was how I couldn’t wait to be faster and have my pace feel more effortless and less ridiculously hard.
UMMMM. Do we see a pattern here?! So much wanting more!! Never satisfied.
A gorgeous Tamara Muth King photo below… My happy place, yoga in my living room. 🙂
It’s okay to want more and to keep on pushing ourselves and never be fine with being stagnant, and I suppose it’s not the worst trait in the world to push ourselves, but I also think we need to show ourselves more LOVE and appreciation for all that our bodies do for us.
It just struck me so hard when I realized: “I’m definitely not in the same running shape as I was a few months ago, and I definitely did NOT appreciate what great cardio shape I was in at that time.”
I think a little bit of appreciation would go a long way.
Then the fitness would be about feeling good & proud rather than always pushing harder, harder, harder.
Rather than being terrified of falling off the wagon, and rather than being afraid to even take a few days off to rest or fill our time with other necessary things.
Really all of this is just food for thought, because I was so taken aback when I realized that I shrugged off every single compliment people gave me about “being so fit” this year and didn’t even believe them, honestly.
It’s very hard for us as humans (and perfectionist humans, especially) to be proud of ourselves and give ourselves the credit we would give to someone else.
I specifically remember being in a really tough OTF class, having a very doable time with it, and not allowing my friends’ constant praise of: “OMG you crushed that class, I’m so jealous of how fast you were with such a low heart rate” to even soak in a TINY bit. I straight up did not think she was correct.
So my goal for myself moving forward is… appreciate. It goes a long way, and it fits right in with all of my self-care goals & vibes this year.
Who wants to do it with me? We can hold each other accountable!! I actually want to create a challenge around this with prizes, etc. Would LOOOVE any / all thoughts + feedback! XO
Another TMK photo!