i just returned from the magical, dreamlike, jungle-meets-ocean oasis of mukul in nicaragua. i am so glad that i was traveling with my dear friend megan (this was our third year in a row taking a retreat-style vacation together) because since we like all the same things, there was no pressure to do… anything.
each day we woke up, ordered coffee to the room (make your own bulletproof style, of course), did yoga (in a beautiful oceanside jungle hut surrounded by MONKEYS – my dream), laid by the pool, took naps, read books, did some writing, did yoga again, got spa treatments, went to dinner, and went to bed by 9pm at the latest.
it’s so special to have a friend that you can travel with who is cool with totally unwinding, relaxing and having no agenda. at home and even on a lot of my vacations i have to be very “on,” and ready to go for a whole lot of highly go-go-go activities. so when i go to a tropical oasis dreamland like nicaragua… i want to just be. i want to chill. i want to detox from technology, live in the now, and reset my nervous system to relax, sleep, and soak in the highest vibes.
which brings me to the topic of this post…
a lot of you have noticed that i have turned over a bit of a new leaf this year. it’s funny because i have been on a self-care path for a while now and i feel like i have always made the feel good, wellness-oriented choices that bring me closest to my highest self – but this year, there has been a serious and radical shift.
i feel more in tune than ever with the HIGHEST VIBES of the universe & with my highest self… and i am so beyond ecstatic that my journey has lead me down this path.
i think it started with learning to let go of a lot of stuff that was holding me back… people, stagnant relationships, past traumas (as you’ll learn in my latest podcast episode), certain wellness choices (like food and exercise habits) that were no longer serving me, and basically letting go of all of the built up resistance to connecting with my higher Self, the universe, and all that it has to offer.
i am not sure why i was so resistant aside from maybe the fact that i just wasn’t ready yet to fully embrace everything the universe was trying to present to me.
the past few years, i have been very caught up in building my career and making choices that propel my business and brand forward – which was sort of a backwards way of thinking about it, in reality, because since my brand is ME what i really needed to do was slow down and connect on a deeper level.
i now know that when i do that, EVERYTHING is more in alignment. the content i choose to share, the brands that approach me about working together, the way i fill my time and my days, and even the people who take up huge amounts of my heart. i just feel in LINE with what i am supposed to be doing, and where i am supposed to be going… and that is a really, ridiculously good feeling.
the thing is, i have always craved deeper connection. always, always. it is what has drawn me to yoga and all of the self-care practices i am so in love with like ayurveda, reiki, acupuncture, kundalini, massage, cupping, speaking to intuitives, meditation, crystals, eating well, retreats, functional medicine, deep connections and friendships… all of that amazing healing work and play that brings me closer and closer to my self.
yet because i am also very much a business-minded person, a perfectionist, and someone who has VERY high standards for herself and my career trajectory – a lot of my daily choices and much of my daily routine seemed to be getting in the way of the one thing i wanted most for years: TO SLOW THE F DOWN, so that i could really draw inward and create from the heart, instead of creating from a muffled version of what my heart wanted but my head told me to do.
slowing down & how it’s changed me:
so back to what i was saying before. a LOT of you, especially those of you who are highly empathetic and in tune with the universe and others’ energies, have noticed that this radical shift has begun to take place with me.
i have received a steady trickle of emails, DM’s and comments from you guys saying that you can see and feel my transformation from afar. a couple of you have even noticed that my VOICE has become calmer and more confident and steady (hi alex & mama!), and the way i express myself on the podcast has shifted to a much more in-tune and ultimately happy & high vibrational version of myself.
i feel it too (!!!!) and i am blown away and thrilled that the transformation is noticeable from the outside to those of you who have been paying close attention to what i’ve been up to. it feels really amazing to get feedback about it because i know that it’s happening but to be radiating that shift on the outside is a whoooole different ballgame, and that’s what really matters.
ultimately this transformation is important to me because knowing myself on such a deep level enables me to radiate the highest vibes back out to YOU, via the podcast and everything else that i do. and the more high vibes that we all share, the happier and more balanced our universe will be. and perhaps after all this, this whole four year journey of blogging thus far, that might just be my most aligned mission i’ve ever had.
how did i slow down?!
shoot, i’m going to have to write a book about it. there is SO MUCH to say. good thing i love writing books. 😉
there is so, so much i can attribute to how i have slowed down and begun this deeper spiritual shift unfolding within me, but here are some top changes i’ve made that i can reference:
+ kundalini yoga // doing kundalini straight up opened my eyes to how connected we all are with the universe, our spirit guides (spirit, God, your highest self, karma, the cosmos, whatever you choose to believe in!), and our own intuition when we simply slow down, BREATHE, move with mindfulness, and so much more. if you’re looking for more resources on kundalini, i’d recommend checking out my podcast episode 28, ft. the high vibe livin girls! also guru jagat’s invincible living book is a true game changer and will teach you a lot about the practice.
i have been taking kundalini classes at nine treasures in west hollywood, and plan soon to try out RA MA (guru jagat’s studio) and of course continue my privates with the HVL girls.
+ practicing meditation, mindfulness & mantras // i meditate every morning and i don’t put any pressure on the amount of time that i do it for. some days i am called to meditate for a full 45 minutes before i do anything else, but most days it’s between 10-15 minutes and i play kundalini music to get me in the zone. i have a few mantras i’ve found that are very powerful for where i am right now, most of which reminding me that “i am light” and “i am an infinite being of the universe” because those serve to get me out of my head, and allow me to move from the heart instead of get stuck worrying about trivial little things.
+ prioritizing self care // it can feel like a full-time job to prioritize yourself! so i have found ways to make sure that i am taking care of myself on a daily basis, which has required me to change my routine quite a bit. i have had to let go in other areas to make this happen – by saying “no” to tons of events and nighttime activities (they are endless in los angeles, trust me) so that i am able to say “yes” to myself… to everything from yoga to reiki to acupuncture to massage to a night in taking a bath and reading. i didn’t make time for ANY of this before… i was too caught up in being a social butterfly, which was fun but was not serving my higher purpose. now i say “yes” to the things that feel the most right to me — but i don’t put pressure on myself to do it all.
+ connecting with people who GET IT // i have always been somewhat of a “friend collector,” which sort of might be my favorite thing about myself. i have very close and special friendships from childhood, all sorts of summer camps and activities in high school, college / alpha phi, grad school, the NY wellness world, the blog world, the LA yoga world, and so much more
i adore all of these people, SO MUCH, and those who matter most to me will always be a priority. however, for years i was giving out so much energy to others. TOO much energy. i had to learn to let go and let some relationships shift and transform to make room for the most high vibe, positive, and loving ones. the people i am closest with, i have cultivated such a closeness with that they know who i am and what is important to me. the amazing kathryn budig says, “you know you’re lucky when you can count your closest friends on one hand.” i may exceed one hand just a bit, but the point is – i have let go and allowed many friendships and relationships to shift so that i can focus on the people that really matter to me and deserve my full attention and love.
plus, with their support, i am entirely different and more down to earth and calm person. so spreading myself too thin was something i needed to do for a long time in order to get to where i am now.
+ early to bed, early to rise // i am working on this, it’s probably one of the hardest shifts i have ever personally made because i am a natural-born night owl… but when i can get on an early to bed, early to rise schedule… everything in my life feels more vibrant and alive. i feel so much more rested and am actually able to fall asleep at night when i do this! a few things that help are not looking at my phone / social media for a few hours before sleep, practicing bedtime mindfulness and meditation exercises, and making sure my space is zen and peaceful for a few hours leading up to sleeping.
+ reiki // this is a newer one for me, but i am totally blown away by the healing power of reiki energy work. i have had a few sessions with the amazing kelsey patel and i have more coming up, and the amount of transformation that has taken place just from the work i have done with her so far is astounding. she reached right into my heart and soul and shed light on a few things that have really continued to hold me back (overcommitting, fear stories, focusing on the material, etc.) and i have been practicing my reiki “homework” (more like major self care!!!) for the last week and it’s been amazing.
+ saying NO!!! // i touched on this above, but without learning to say “no” to so, so many things that don’t entirely, completely, wholly serve my purpose… i would never have to room to say “yes.” saying YES to what i really want and need is so huge and important!
+ allowing space for love // for a long time i resisted receiving true, whole, beautiful love from another person because i just had so many stories in my head about how complex i am, how no one will truly get me so i need to settle with half-love type of relationships, etc. well this year i set an intention to open myself to true, real love and everything that comes along with it. and guess what? after sending out the message to the universe that i was ready… that’s what i got! allowing space for love and also channeling so much of my love (i have so much love to give it almost freaks me out sometimes lol) into this person who gives it right back to me… has been such an energetic force that has made me crazy happy and has given me the stability and confidence to continue down this spiritual path of awakening. it makes me feel safe – on a heart-level and soul-level, and i think without that force i would have trouble opening myself up in such a huge way to ALLL of the high vibe, good things that are currently surrounding me.
+ SO MUCH MORE! // there are tons of products, nourishing foods, etc. that have helped me that i really want to share but that will be a whole post in itself. i am going to record a solo podcast episode soon on EVERYTHING that has helped me so stay tuned and please let me know if there is anything specific you’d like me to include!
i am so grateful and blown away by the way that PODCASTS can connect us all on such a deeper level, and that those of you who listen to my podcast have gotten to know me in a whole new way this year and have gotten to experience many aspects of this shift firsthand.
i credit the soul on fire podcast as a big part of why many of you have noticed my spiritual transformation with such force, but also instagram & the bloggy are other places people have noticed because everywhere i share it’s just me… no frills, no inauthentic BS. just me.
i want to thank each and every one of you for joining me on this journey and also allowing the things that i share to be used in YOUR life — as i know many of you are on a similar path. we all just want to be happy and in balance, and for THAT… i will always be here to try to share as much as i can about what i learn, to see what resonates most with you.
ALL OF THE LOVE !! where are you in your spiritual journey? would love to hear! xx