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Healing Update Part I

06.19.19

Healing

Hellloooo, beautiful shining souls! How is everyone doing? I’ve been deep in healing mode, emerging from my last plant medicine ceremony with so much inspiration and energy to begin (and nearly finish) working on a course that has been channeling through me for over a year now. I have also run myself into the ground & am now resting and trying to regain energy again – so there’s that, too.

The course is called Waking Back Up To Your Own Soul & will be launching so soon! If we stay on track with all of the backend and details, it *should* launch on July 8th. EEK! You will find so much info about it here, on social media, on my podcast, and more. Stay tuned for all of the details to come. I have never been so excited about something.

But for now, I will stick to the topic of today’s post. This post is about the recent part of my healing journey. Healing from Lyme is such a JOURNEY – there is no destination other than trying to feel as good, energized, healthy, and at ease as you possibly can. I have had wildly good days lately and I have also had terrible ones. I find myself petrified to say, “I am healing,” or “I am feeling really good now!” because I know it’s such an ebb and flow. I do believe it’s possible to fully heal, but I also believe in my heart that will take so much time.

Getting Diagnosed //

On June 5th of last year I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease and tons of co-infections like Babesia & Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, mold poisoning, parasites, MCAS, MTFHR, you name it. The diagnosis pretty much flipped my world upside down. It gave me so much validation for symptoms I have been suffering from for so, so long (at least 10 years if not my entire life) and it also catapulted me into a world of extremely frequent treatments, medications, supplements, doctor’s appointments, herxing (when you feel worse before you feel better due to toxin die off), and a community of fellow Lyme sufferers & invisible illness warriors who are very often misunderstood.

I created the High Vibe Chronic Lyme & Chronic Illness Tribe on Facebook to connect with other likeminded people as soon as I realized much of the chronic illness community is very against alternative treatments, spirituality, celery juice, you name it. I was shocked when I was massively bullied in online communities for mentioning the Medical Medium, and I was even more shocked to learn that much of Western medicine disputes that chronic Lyme disease EVEN EXISTS. No treatments are covered by insurance, many effective treatments are extremely hard to find and extremely expensive, and to find a doctor who truly understands you and supports you is very few & far between.

Luckily my Lyme doctor is a godsend (Dr. Erica Lehman of ProHealth Group in Beverly Hills – the same doc who diagnosed me!) and I truly believe (and know) she is an angel here on earth saving lives. I have a feeling we’ve had many past lives together and it was only a matter of time before we connected in this life so she could finally diagnose me & set me on the path to healing.

With my love at the Global Lyme Alliance Gala on my birthday last year! So incredible being around leaders & trailblazers in the Lyme community. <3

The Treatments //

So it’s been over a year of being treated with sooo many different treatments like IV ozone, the hyperbaric chamber, rectal ozone, nasal ozone (for mold in my nasal cavity which often goes up to the brain – ahh!), ketamine IV’s to rewire my brain, Myers Cocktail vitamin drips to boost the immune system, iron IV’s in the beginning, Rocephin (a Lyme antibiotic), B12 shots, anti-virals, anti-fungals, anti-malarials, LDN, massive fibroid surgery, about 239917 herbal supplements & TCM tinctures, colonics, acupuncture, cupping, coffee enemas, water fasting (my own decision – not prescribed by anyone), eating an SOS-free diet (also my own decision), lymphatic drainage massages, so much rest, NAD IV’s, infrared sauna, charcoal & *intense* mold binders that have given me BRAIN HERXES and panic attacks, stem cells, and I am sure I am forgetting a million and one things.

So that brings us to now. I have been doing stem cells now (umbilical cord stems that get injected straight into my bloodstream) for four mouths. After my third round of stems (last month), I finally started to feel noticeably better with noticeably fewer symptoms for pretty much the first time in as long as I can remember. The only other thing that has vastly boosted me in my healing is doing plant medicine – specifically ayahuasca. I feel that I released LIFETIMES of trauma and a lifetime of emotional & physical pain the first time I did ayahuasca, even if I had to experience a near-exorcism while healing. I sat with the medicine again just a few weeks ago, and it was similarly healing on extremely deep levels. Plant medicine is a VERY individual choice & I know it’s not for everyone, as the medicine has a psychedelic component that you must be comfortable & on board with in order to experience the healing.

I suppose what I am saying here is… healing is so different for everyone. Getting my toxic load down for the last year with everything I mentioned above & MORE is what lead me to be able to be at a point where stem cells could be so healing, and also where ayahuasca could be so healing. When I arrived at my first ayahuasca ceremony my body was in so much crippling pain I could barely sit up to meditate with the group when we arrived, and by the end I felt mostly pain-free. The pain has come back in many ways but I notice now my pain isn’t as severe as it once was.

The Upsides //

The ultimate upside of this entire journey is that I deeply believe that we get sick so that we can become extraordinarily healthy, and so that we can wake up spiritually. I know this in my bones to be true. On plant medicine journeys I have spoken to my soul, my angels, my spirit guides, my ancestors, my body, and to Lyme disease itself – and I have been shown that it is part of my purpose here in this lifetime to get sick & wake back up to my SOUL, and in that process wake others back up to their souls. I believe we are eternal souls having a human experience here in these bodies – and everything that happens here is predetermined.

I believe that things do not happen TO us, they happen FOR us. I have spent the last several months speaking to my body and my soul, and learning what Lyme disease has come into my life to teach me and wake me up to. The truth is when we are extra sensitive and intuitive beings, we are so much more affected by our environment. Living in pollution, around EMFs, riddled with stress and technology and pesticides and chemicals and toxins in the air and in our food – it’s really hard to NOT get sick. And on top of it those of us who have genetic mutations like MTFHR which make it harder to detox from toxins – I feel it then becomes impossible to not get sick.

I wouldn’t trade being sensitive & intuitive for anything. I also wouldn’t trade this journey for anything. I have never felt so alive or in tune with my body and my soul, even on my hardest and most miserable days. I have never felt so GRATEFUL for LIFE. For nature, for love, for energy when it comes, for the ability to move my body, for yoga, for brain function when I am in the flow, for my family and my doctor and the ability to get treated for Lyme, for my spiritual journey, and so much more.

Jonathan proposed to me in the darkest days of my illness, right after I was diagnosed. That is love. He laid next to me in my hospital bed after my fibroid surgery. He reminds me to meditate when I am down on myself, and reminds me to be kinder to my body every single day. He is so patient with me when I am unable to lift a finger (literally), and his forehead kisses alone can heal me on my most painful and miserable days. He has gotten on board with plant medicine, shamanic bodywork, communing with nature, eating super healthy and mostly plant-based and oil-free, and so much more so that I feel less alone in this process.

My parents have been insanely supportive and are my biggest advocates. They’ve moved into our building part time to help me in every way. My gratitude runs SO DEEP! I love them so much.

I have also discovered so many alternative healing modalities- meditations, journal speak, Joe Dispenza’s work & his books, Louise Hay’s books, as well as the teachings of Carolyn Myss, Deepak Chopra, John Amaral, Peter Crone, and so many others on healing the body, healing the subconscious and healing the mind.

I have been working on the way I talk to myself and the way my subconscious functions. Deep rooted beliefs like “I am sensitive, I am sick, I am fragile,” etc. have been ingrained in me since I was young. I am working on telling myself “I am strong, I am powerful, I am unstoppable,” and truthfully most days — it helps. Other days I want to curl into a ball and sob and pass out from migraines, exhaustion, insomnia, joint pain that makes my joints + muscles feel on fire, IBS, brain fog, and more.

This week alone I have had the worst bout of IBS I have had in SO LONG. I have also learned there is a lot going on in the cosmos with a spike in the resonant frequency of the Earth’s atmosphere this week, the Full Moon, solar winds, solstice energies, and 3 planets in retrograde until July/August. For those of us who are intuitive & have sensitive bodies, we feel all of that so, so much.

There is so much more I want to share — from nature being one of my greatest healers, to learning to reframe my mindset and my approach to healing, to my upcoming course (!!!), to supplements / vitamins I am taking that are really helping, to the best CBD pain salve EVERRR (use the code BLONDE for a discount), so I will definitely be working on Parts II, III, and more over the next few weeks. One of them is going to be a list of the supplements and treatments that have helped me most IN DETAIL so excited to share that.

Stay tuned for all of it — love and appreciate you all so much. Cannot wait for all of the magic to come. Thank you for being here, and also it was my SIX YEAR BLOGGING ANNIVERSARY the other day and I just feel so damn grateful for this life, this blog, this platform, this community, and each and every one of you reading.

Introduce yourself below so I can get to know you, where you’re from, who you are!!! All of it!! Love love love.

Talk soon. <3