My loves! My lights! Hiiii!! Could a person be more MIA from her blog?! 😂 I am so sorry. This has been such a season of introspection, and every day while I have had intentions to write a blog post, all of my energy ends up going to this growing babe, daily musings on Insta, the podcast, a new project I am working on (any guesses?) and well… mostly this growing baby & my growing body!
Since my last post, we announced the gender of our baby on Instagram, and you can watch that video here! My parents planned an incredible surprise scavenger hunt as a gender reveal and it was hands down one of the most special days of my life. That was over two months ago now (WOW how the time is flying) and so much of my brain space is being taken up by dreaming of becoming this baby boy’s mama, and how much our lives are about to change and shift in 5 short months.
Other highlights are, we planned a baby moon in Kauai for September! I am so excited to be back in one of my favorite places in the world. The last time we were there is when we got engaged three years ago… talk about how quickly time is moving. Time is an illusion anyway haha, but still!! I am very excited about the new project I am working on. It is going to encompass so much of what I have been through in these last four or so years of healing, and signifies to me that it’s officially time for a new chapter of life. I am ready for it, and I am so happy it’s here. Aside from that, more than 5 of my closest friends are getting married this fall, so you can catch me & my growing bump in a lot of bridesmaids dresses at beautiful locations all over the country. 😉
Before I share with you my super cheesy, creamy, nostalgic, delicious & MUCH requested cauliflower cheesy sauce recipe, I want to tell you some second trimester updates! This post will be followed up by a full second trimester update post soon enough, but here are the main happenings.
Second Trimester Updates:
– I am still giggling that I thought I would have a full baby bump early on in my pregnancy, because I am now at almost 19 weeks and still barely any sign of a visible bump. The moment I found out I was pregnant back in April I checked daily for that growing bump that in my opinion is arguably one of the cutest things in the world. Now I am just laughing that I thought I would pop back then, when I haven’t even popped yet to this day! If you have seen any photos of my baby bump on IG it’s mostly because we’ve caught it at the end of the day, after just the right amount of food. 🤪 But it doesn’t mean this baby isn’t growing!! He has a full, healthy, growing body in there and by this weekend he will be the size of a mango!! I have a feeling in the next week or two, the belly will be popping. 🙂
– That said, it has been such an interesting and beautiful journey with my body thus far. I have said this many times, but after living with late stage neurological Lyme disease the whole “vanity” thing pretty much went out the window. I learned to appreciate my body based off of my sheer survival, and every day grew to love my body even deeper for the strength it had given me during the rockiest times of my life. I have been in a really good space with absolutely loving my body, genuinely, for many years now. Then, insert pregnancy. It has made my love and awe for my body even deeper, but it has also brought back some old feelings. I mean, my boobs have basically quadrupled, lol. Not necessarily comfortable! And then there is the whole sciatica thing that has made it really hard for me to even walk most days. It has tested me, and it has been a challenge of a brand new kind to love my body while it is rapidly changing. I didn’t get the cute baby bump overnight, but in its place I got a lot of other things (oh the joys of pregnancy lol) and I am learning to embrace them and take it all day by day!
– I mentioned this above, but SCIATICA. Holy mother of God. I know everyone gets different pregnancy symptoms, and my pregnancy overall has been quite chill so I am deeply grateful, but I also know that my sciatica pain must be in the 1% or something because it’s searing, intense, never ending, impossible to relieve, and has been a constant daily thing since week 9 of pregnancy! So it’s not related to a growing pregnancy belly or anything else like many other women’s sciatica pain, but instead it’s related to the hormone relaxin. I have learned to take the pain as a gift (I mean, if I can do that with Lyme I can do that with anything, right?) and it has definitely taught me a lot. I am working with all of my own tools to move through the emotions and fear that I have found in the pain. I have also found incredible prenatal chiropractors and body workers who have been a total godsend!
– Cravings. Still FRUIT! Green juice daily, açaí bowls, tons of nut butter, bananas & PB, and at night… cauliflower Mac n cheese. 🙂 My appetite is also slowing down. In the first trimester & beginning of the second, I was eating basically double the amount of food that I usually do. Hormones were wacky and I was always hungry. Lately at least, my appetite is all but gone. I am finding ways to pack in the nutrients every time I eat (loaded up smoothies have been helpful, I will share my favorite recipe soon!) and also supplementing with great pre-natals and supplements from my TCM doctor.
– REST! I have been so, so immensely tired. To give you an example, it is Thursday afternoon and I haven’t left my house since Monday morning for a Chiro appointment! I think I might be fighting something off this week, but regardless my body is screaming out for rest so I am listening. I read an entire fiction book this week (Malibu Rising, it’s SO GOOD), and I am starting to feel like that is what my body wants more of during this pregnancy. Rest, hydration, books, and being easy on myself. Taking the pressure off.
– Introspection & spirituality. I found it a bit hard to follow my usual spiritual daily lifestyle in the beginning of my pregnancy. So much newness just had my head spinning, and while I wanted to meditate and connect with the baby, my mind was ALL over the place and I went into a different mode there for a while. A mode where I felt the constant need to distract myself and just not get overwhelmed with so much change happening. Now, I finally feel like I am really, really in tune and aligned with this baby’s soul and my spirituality again. I have my 120th day of pregnancy coming up, which is the day we will call in this spirit’s higher SOUL into my body. That is this Saturday. I am so excited to do a beautiful ceremony with my kundalini teacher Tej. Do you guys want me to do a post on this after we do it?!
Cheesy Cauliflower Creamy AF SAUCE:
1 head of steamed cauliflower (or about 3 cups)
1 cup low sodium vegetable stock
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp nutritional yeast
2-3 tbsp tahini
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
Juice of 1 lemon (2 lemons if you want it super zesty!)
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp red pepper flake
Blend in a high speed blender, and pour over rice pasta (or any gluten free pasta you’d like), mix in some steamed spinach, too with more red pepper flake, and enjoy! Voila!!
Will you try this?! You will LOVE. It is so decadent and zesty and creamy, and definitely hits the spot for that old school Mac & cheese deliciousness. If you want it to look more like Mac & cheese (for example if you have a kiddo in the mix!!) you could also add a few baby carrots, or a few sprinkles of turmeric… or both! You could also try using rainbow cauliflower, which my friend Cait did when she tried this recipe and hers looked fantastic!